The Hebrew word for love is 
which is pronounced Ahava. I’ve been thinking alot today about Love. Mr Y. is still in his native country and will be leaving tomorrow for a 26-hour journey home. Of course, we had to get into an argument about something I neglected to do at work (Mr. Y & I own a business together), so he is angry with me. It was an important task and I said I would do it. I failed him, I failed myself and I failed my business (this is a little dramatic, but as a Jew-in-training, I’m allowed to practice a little drama). However, even though Mr. Y is more than angry at me, he still said he loved me when we hung up the phone. I was reading an article on Jewishmag.com (http://www.jewishmag.com/20mag/hebrew/hebrew.htm) about the meaning of love, Jewish-style. The author of the article, Ahuva Bloomfield illustrates how giving and loving are very similar.
The Cliff Notes version of the article: When we give, we show our love.
As much as I hate to say it, Mr. Y giving me his anger is a way of showing me his love. He is showing me that he loves me enough to be honest with me and make me accountable for my actions and words. I could choose to be hateful, mean or angry back with him. I could choose to be defensive. However, I chose to be a lady and admit that I was wrong. It doesn’t matter that I got a million important tasks accomplished today. It is the one I said I would do and I didn’t do it. I am now working to complete the task I said I would do because I gave my word.. In addition, I am going to make sure that Mr. Y comes home to a place of peacefulness and a new audio studio in our spare room. He’s also going to come home to a good home-cooked meal and a yummy dessert. That is my gift to him. It’s my way of expressing how I love him.
This makes me think about my relationship with God. God continually gives to me and what have I given back to Him? I always say thank you when the blessings are pouring out, but do I choose to admit I am wrong when God corrects me? Is the time I give to God spent in chaos or do I welcome him to my home full of serenity and peace? I know this seems a little woo-woo (my choice of words for New Age or mystical), but it has really made me think. I want to be more conscious of what I give of myself to God because that would be how I express my love to Him.
Last week I spoke to a bartender/lawyer friend of mine who lives in Chicago. We were both working, it was early in the morning, but the difference is that my friend was working from his son’s hospital room. His son had become ill from an infection (as kids do) and had a reaction to one of his prescriptions. When I reconnected with my friend this week, our discussion led to the death of a mutual friend’s child who wasn’t even a year old. Bartender/Lawyer said that learning of our friend’s child’s death had really affected him and that he gave his kids an extra hug before he left to go on a business trip this week.
We work in a very busy, crazy industry. Bartender/Lawyer is writing an article about the 7 habits of successful people in our business. We were joking that the 7th habit is “working your ass off,” and unfortunately, it is right. In my industry, it is common and expected that we work around the clock as necessary. This takes up precious time that we could be giving to our families, our shul and to God. I am personally examining areas of my life where I can give more to those who really matter to me and to those who matter to God (fyi- EVERYONE matters to my God). This may mean giving more money to charity, giving more of my time, or giving more presence while I am doing my daily tasks or speaking to someone. I truly want everyone to feel love or ahava upon meeting me (or even those merely observing me).
One of my favorite quotes is from Carly Fiorina’s autobiography: “What we are is God’s gift to us, what we become is our gift to God.” If you take out the word gift and exchange it with love the quote would be “What we are is God’s love to us, what we become is our love to God.”
What will you become by showing and practicing Ahava to God (and others) today?
Shalom,
JLS
Journey through Judaism 